It’s not just Panda-ring.

I suck at Tekken.

If Tekken 8’s story were a hot sauce, it would be Da Bomb Beyond Insanity.

Tekken 8 Kazuya Mishima cracks his knuckles with a glare on his face

Or possibly rather because of it.

And considering the actual content of the story, the voice acting really is perplexingly good.

At the very least, it shows that their heart is in the right place.

Cover image for YouTube video

Considering how spectacular the game looks on PC, the performance was borderline faultless.

These are legacy games at heart, the fighting game equivalent of a perpetual stew.

Tekken 8 accessibility options

Colourblind modes & presets (eg highlighting enemies in one colour).

Tekken Review 2 Punishment Training - Tekken 8 screenshot of Jun reacting to Kazuya’s attack during the punishment training tutorial

Control scheme screen readily available.

Current objectives, destinations etc readily available.

Independent sliders for music, sound effects and dialogue.

Tekken Review 3 Max’s Guide - Tekken 8 screenshot of Arcade Quest’s tutor Max and his available list of training courses

Full key and button remapping.

Difficulty prefs (easy, normal, hard).

In doing all that, it’s also made Tekken’s real magic easier to uncover.

Tekken Review 1 Reina - Tekken 8 screenshot of new character Reina jumping into the air

Then I realised that this same principle could be applied to my offence in general.

That impenetrable quality I referred to suddenly shifted from a negative to a positive.

It is impossible for me to learn everything about Tekken 8.

Tekken Review 5 Paul and Law - Tekken 8 screenshot of Paul and Law punching each other at the same time during a tournament cutscene

I can play it every day for the next year, and still constantly learn.

It’s a thrill.

A copy of Tekken 8 was provided for review by Bandai Namco.

Tekken Review 7 Leo - Tekken 8 screenshot of new character Leo in a fighting stance

Tekken Review 8 Ghost Match - Tekken 8 screenshot of Hwoarang and King about to engage in battle during Ghost Battle mode

Tekken Review 6 Jin - Tekken 8 screenshot of Jin looking wistfully into the distance during a cutscene

Tekken Review 9 Lewis Winning - Tekken 8 screenshot of Hwoarang winning an online match by knocking out his opponent Kuma

Tekken Review 10 Online Replay - Tekken 8 screenshot of Reina and Xiayou about to fight during a replay of an online match