It’s finally here.
So here’s what Team Eurogamer made of the big Super Mario Bros. movie reveal.
‘Is this going to be an origin story for the brothers?’
As for Toad, he is quite the fire-cracker in this adaptation.
That was a rather feisty intro from the small shroom man.
Characteristically, it felt spot on.
So, Mario doesn’t seem to know the Mushroom Kingdom in this film!
Or Toad (although he knew Mario’s name…
I guess they made introductions between the clips shown)!
Or even, Peach!
And, if that is the case, where did Mario come from?
Did he get sucked into that green pipe against his will?
Or was there some otherworldly aura calling out to him that made him feel compelled to explore?
I have a lot of questions, and I am looking forward to finding out more in the future.
So I sat down to watch it last night and… And Chris Pratt as Mario?
And now something funny has happened.
Rather than dreading the next trailer for the Mario movie, I’m quite looking forward to it.
There’s a Mario movie coming!
And it actually looks like Mario!
What’s weird is how much it looks like Mario.
I mean, it doesn’t - Mario 3 is an 8-bit game that delivers a 2D world.
But the vibe, the vibe is perfect.
I’m into it.
Christian Donlan
‘“No,” I thought immediately.
I enjoyed his “dracarys!”
But then Mario came in.
“No,” I thought immediately.
“No, no no no.”
The flat arse that couldn’t butt stomp if it tried.
The human-like face with too many teeth.
That’s not Mario.
But it’s probably not meant to be.
And who even is Mario anyway?
Isn’t he just an avatar for the player to “wahoo!”
and “waaaaah” across platforms?
Perhaps Pratt’s lazy delivery is fitting after all.
Ed Nightingale
‘It’s impossible to be offended by it’
Listen, it’s Mario.
This is the default options, medium difficulty, vanilla-flavoured Blue Lightsaber of video game franchises.
It’s impossible to be offended by it.
looked good, and I think Mario’s voice sounded… fine?
It looks good visually.
I actually don’t mind the slightly more realistic art style.
I love Keegan-Michael Key’s performance as Toad.
If Toad had to speak words like a human, I think Key nails it.
I’m excited to hear more of Charlie Day’s Luigi, too.
I like Jack Black’s take on Bowser, though as his lines got longer I liked it less.
In fact, I pretty much didn’t mind everything apart from Mario.
Chris Pratt’s Mario voice is lacklustre.
But my biggest gripe with Mario is his looks.
The slight tweaks to his face?
Fine, I can deal with those.
I could actually bring myself to tolerate the wider jaw they gave him.
That’s not the Mario I love.
His backside is so flat even flat-earthers are doubting it.
I’m sorry Nintendo, but that’s not my MILF (the M stands for Mario).
But hey, at least it’s not Chris Pratt dressed up in denim overalls and a moustache.
It could be worse…
Liv Ngan
