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A Viking woman stands in front of wooden hut and a sign, reading “for sale, view by appointment, Hutenheim Group”.

All player names have been changed for this article.

I just can’t help myself - the real estate reality series is compulsive viewing.

That and the underhanded cattiness between agents as they compete to sell houses.

A Viking woman standing in front of a wooden sign that reads, “For sale, view by appointment only, Hutenheim Group."

All while looking absolutely stunning, of course - I’ve been taking fashion notes for the year ahead.

Anyway, all this talk of listings and property development got me thinking aboutValheimagain.

That may seem like a huge leap from luxury LA real estate but hear me out.

A large, multi-story log cabin in a lightly forested and grassy area. Some torches burn at the top of a small flight of stairs. It’s the headquarters of Emma’s Valheim real estate Hutenheim Group.

Whenever I’ve explored the world of Valheim, I’ve felt a strong urge to renovate houses.

So I set about trying to establish a Viking real estate agency in Valheim.

Things got alotcloser to the drama of Selling Sunset than I had anticipated.

The imposing entrance of a large, multi-story log cabin. Some torches burn at the top of a small flight of stairs. It’s the headquarters of Emma’s Valheim real estate Hutenheim Group.

The first step was finding a multiplayer server on which I could conduct this experiment.

I settled on a light role-playing server based around the idea of a kingdom.

As required by the server rules, I started a fresh character.

A log cabin built on stilts near the sea. It’s an idyllic setting - bright blue skies and warm yellow sand, with some verdant green grass around.

And with that, I was ready to be taken on a server tour.

On the tour with me were two other newbies, all of us only in our underwear.

It was a somewhat surreal experience.

An elaborate log cabin in Valheim, with a grand, jutting balcony. It’s captured in dreamy peachy and turquoise colours at sunset. Someone is quite the photographer, Emma.

At the end of the tour, the king paused and asked us if we had any questions.

“This may be a bit of a strange request,” I typed.

“But could I set up a Viking estate agency?”

An animated gif showing the Hutenheim Group website Emma built to advertise her Valheim estate agents. It flicks through a gallery of property listings she has posted there.

The king paused for a moment.

“That sounds like an excellent idea, Angelika.”

And so I was given royal approval.

A coastal Valheim scene. Bright blue skies and water, and green grassy fields and tries. In the distance, there’s a log cabin house that Emma has built. Leading to it is a quaint little road.

This was truly meant to be.

The next step, of course, was actually creating a property portfolio.

You may be sensing a theme here.

A viking man stands in front of a wooden fence and sign, which declares the property, slightly visible in the dense fog behind it, has been sold.

I named this one Vidarr, another anglicised reference to an old Norse god.

Oh, and a custom logo that I managed to make in Inkscape in about five minutes.

It didn’t take him long to pipe up with a message about the agency.

A Valheim player cheers, standing in front of a wooden cabin they have clearly just bought - as evidenced by the “sold” sign right next to them.

A friendly opening message; he seemed nice enough.

But then Xavier started causing problems.

It’s a kind of magical barrier or lock, in other words.

A small, boxed out picture and biography of Emma’s Valheim estate agent Angelika Stace, taken from the Hutenheim Group website Emma created especially.

Royal access to each private property, too, felt like a huge overreach of power.

Xavier even enthusiastically promised to help me build some free homes for new players.

Two days later, Xavier turned up in the Discord server and posted a property listing of his own.

The inside of a Viking log house. There’s a fire pit glowing in the middle, illuminating the room, and benches on either side of it.

“Asking price: 6250 Gold.”

Needless to say - having told him about my business, website and office - I was livid.

“Did you want to list that property with Hutenheim Group?

The inside of a Viking log-built hall. It is drab and dreary, with no torches for light and furnishings for comfort.

I can take photos for the website,” I frantically replied, but I was ignored.

I immediately hated Xavier with all my soul.

Now it was like Selling Sunset - for real.

A handful of Valheim characters dancing around a maypole at night time. They seem to be having fun.

I responded by upping my marketing game.

King Jerome agreed, and I soon had an automated bot posting my listings every eight hours.

Xavier, meanwhile, was busy digging his own grave by listing his property atfartoo high a price.

A bronze bar could be exchanged for 25 gold, for instance.

Xavier calculated his listing as being worth an astronomical 6250 gold.

And frankly, what’s the fun in running a property business if no-one’s going to buy anything?

I was then able to arrange a viewing with a player called Al.

I then returned to the office where I found the player waiting.

I was nervous - this was my first time showing a property.

“As the property is so close, we can walk over there right now.”

I guided him towards the house, making sure to stop as soon as the building came into view.

“So here is our first view of the property,” I began.

We approached the front of the house, where I made sure to mention the property’s best features.

“It comes with its very own cart house,” I said.

“Good for protecting your cart!”

“Ooh,” said Al, running inside.

“There is a statement entrance into the main building,” I continued.

Al seemed completely enamoured with the balcony and who could blame him?

It overlooked the bay and was absolutely stunning in the late afternoon light.

“Perfect for sipping beers,” I added.

Flexible payments would prove to be another winning formula for my business.

With that, my first sale was complete.

I then giddily tottered back to the office to mark the property as ‘sold’.

I didn’t want to stop there, though - I wanted this victory to be total.

One quick viewing later and I had sold it, this time for 600 gold.

For each property sale I made sure everyone in-game and on Discord knew about it.

“Congratulations to Hughe on the new house!”

“This marks the second sale for Hutenheim Group!”

Now trailing by two sales, Xavier seemed to be getting frantic.

He started spamming the chat with adverts and kept posting work-in-progress pictures to hype his upcoming second property.

And with some annoyance, I noticed he was starting to copyallof my business strategies.

“DID you know there is MORE than one Real estate game in town?”

Really getting into my role as a petty estate agent, I updated my own website.

What Xavier didn’t seem to realise was that he was still getting his prices wrong.

A player called Drake came bounding up to me in-game, offering to sell me an old abandoned property.

I named it Beyla Hall.

Minutes later, one of the high-ranking members of the kingdom asked for a viewing.

“1500 gold”.

It was music to my ears.

I had one final property to shift, however, and that was Svalinn Estate.

I themed it around midsummer and decorated the place with flags, flowers and an outdoor bar.

“Attention everyone!”

“I am hosting an impromptu midsummer party in about 30 minutes.

There will be free flower crowns, mead and snacks available.

There will also be dancing around the maypole and a treasure hunt!

Go to the Hutenheim Group office and take the portal, then follow the signs to the party.”

It was a huge success - five players turned up as well as the king himself.

I gave out free drinks, toasted the king and encouraged dancing around the maypole.

I then had them all run around the island in search of hidden treasure chests with gold inside.

The party felt like a great way to conclude things and celebrate my success.

Selling three out of four properties was a great final result.

Xavier still hadn’t sold a thing.

His insistence on high prices locked him out of some truly fun gameplay experiences.

And you’ve got the option to’t really put a price on that.

So as the sun set on my own real estate adventure, I was on a high.